What If Janeway Had Kirk's Adventures?

Written By: Crambam, MisterMug, Pete, and The Heater

Have you ever wondered what would've happened if Janeway and the Voyager crew had swapped places with Kirk and the Enterprise crew?  How would Janeway handle Kirk's adventures?  What would be the results?  CRAMBAM and MisterMug have graciously provided this small sampling.  I couldn't agree more, guys!  Stay tuned for additions in the future!

  1. Janeway would be Gorn food.

  2. Janeway would be Apollo's slave.

  3. Khan would have kept Voyager.

  4. The Romulans would have invaded if Janeway made first contact in Balance of Terror.  And Janeway would have given the Romulan Commander an escort.  And the Romulan Commander would not call her friend.

  5. The Nomad probe would have vaporized her.

  6. Janeway wouldn't have taught the Yangs the proper reading of the Constitution.  She wouldn't even recognize the words.

  7. Janeway would have left Chakotay for dead on Genesis.

  8. The Melkots would have turned her into Annie Oakley ...and Janeway would have been shot.

  9. She would have stayed with Trelane and been his new toy.

  10. She would have been fried by the Horta.

  11. Janeway would have let Edith Keeler live.

  12. Janeway wouldn't have retrieved the whales.  She proved in Future's End that she didn't even know the Slingshot Method!

  13. She would have gotten lost in All Our Yesterdays.

  14. She would have let the colonists from Andromeda take over our galaxy.

  15. She would have spent eternity fighting the Klingons.

  16. She never would have escaped that parallel universe... but she would have been vaporized by a bearded Chakotay.

  17. Kahless would have beaten Janeway and Lincoln.  That is, if Lincoln would teamed with Janeway. More likely, instead of Spock, Surak, Kirk, and Lincoln, we'd have the team of Janeway, Earheart, Chakotay, and Tonto.

  18. Finnegan would have knocked Janeway down... and Janeway would have been impaled by the knight... and Janeway would have been eaten by the tiger.

  19. She'd still be stuck with the androids in I, Mudd.

  20. Gary Mitchell would have buried Janeway... and her entire crew.

  21. She'd still be a slave to the Gamesters of Triskelion.

  22. She would go through the Great Barrier and say "Hi, God!"  Then, she'd gladly hand over Voyager, thinking that God has a reason for needing a starship.

  23. Gary Seven would walk all over her.  But Janeway would have somehow prevented him from stopping the nuclear detonation.

  24. The kids in Miri would have "BONK-BONKed" her on the head... and they would have played "Ring Around the Rosey" on her dead carcass.

  25. She'd die an old wrinkled prune in The Deadly Years.

  26. Charlie X would take away her face.

  27. Gorgon the Friendly Angel would have had a field day with her.

  28. The Doomsday Machine would have blown her away.

  29. The Iotians would have riddled her with bullets and left her floating on a lake.

  30. The Nazis and the Romans would have turned her into dogmeat.

  31. The Klingons would have taken the quatrotriticale.

  32. Janeway's ship would still be inundated with Tribbles.

  33. Janeway would have given Sherman's planet to the Klingons.

  34. Landru would have turned her into an automaton.

  35. Janeway would have gladly walked into the death chamber for fear of offending...

  36. She'd still be caught in the Tholian Web.

  37. The asteroid would have vaporized that planet with the Indians.

  38. She would have frozen to death in the past.

  39. The salt vampire would have had her for breakfast, and an Alka-Seltzer for lunch.

  40. Lee Meriwhether would have destroyed her.

  41. She would have let Garth of Izar conquer the quadrant.

  42. The M5 would be the new captain of Janeway's ship.

  43. Stonn would have chosen her as his champion, and T'Pring would have disemboweled her.

  44. The Excelsior would have caught up with Janeway in Star Trek III.

  45. In Journey to Babel, the Orions would have vaporized her ship.

  46. She'd never win a game of 3d chess.

  47. Flint would have left her ship as a miniature for millenia.

  48. She'd have stayed buried alive by Khan.

  49. The space hippies would have given her an apple, and she would have eaten it.

  50. Without a brain, she'd be better off.  "Brain and Brain... what is Brain?" -- Janeway's motto.

  51. Janeway would have been turned into a cube, and crushed.

  52. Janeway would have been poisoned in The Conscience of the King.

  53. Janeway would have been court martialled in Court Martial.

  54. Lazarus' evil double would have destroyed the universe in The Alternative Factor.

  55. Janeway would have been consumed by the Cloud Creature in Obsession.

  56. Losira would have touched her and killed her in That Which Survives.

  57. V'ger would have vaporized Voyager.

  58. Janeway would have made a damn good meal for Jack the Ripper.

  59. Janeway would never have passed Balok's tests.

  60. Janeway would have stayed with Zefram Cochrane and his "Companion."

  61. Janeway would never have escaped from the planet Gideon.

  62. The Lights of Zetar would have possessed her body.

  63. Janeway would not have left the Nexus to help Picard.

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